You want to be noticed, be popular, attract a throng of admirers, and become a media sensation. That’s a given, so you just have to know how to play the game. Just follow one of seven paths to media stardom.

7 Sinful Ways To Attract Media Attention:

1 – Lust – Dress up, get out & about, and attract a “ho” lot of attention to your bad self. Hey, it worked for the mega untalented Paris Hilton and Lindsay Lohan, right?

Lust

2 – Gluttony – Uberblogger Hans Brunschwager became famous by making an absolute pig out of himself. Let it all hang out. Oink your way to the top!

Online stalker

3 – Greed – Channel your inner Donald Trump. You need to be all about the money, even when it’s so not you. Bada bling, bada bling baby!

Ghetto fool

4 – Sloth – Be all that you can be with a “Who gives a shit?” attitude.

If I only had a brain...

5 – Wrath – Become a media superstar like Ann Coulter or Al Sharpton by adopting a “Don’t mess with me, bitch!” attitude. Earn extra attention by saying nigga and bitch 24×7 about people you don’t like because eventually someone will print your remarks.

Outta the car bitch

6 – Envy – Take a shot at anyone within range of your artillery. Let ‘em know “You are so gonna get what’s coming to you, bitch!” and then give em a broadside or two right upside the head!

Snow Penis

7 – Pride – Succeed by knowing and showing you can “out ho” even Paris or Lindsay! It’s easy, it’s fun, and it’s definitely gonna get you noticed.

Out ho Paris Hilton

And there you have it! 7 sinful ways to attract media attention.

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